a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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