32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
