I'm drive I can fine osifer
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
