Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
