I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize