i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
