Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
