your parents love me but you hate me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
