There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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