I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
