U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
