Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
