I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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