the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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