Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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