You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
