you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
