My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
