I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Randomize
