I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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