I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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