goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
