i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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