Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
