I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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