Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
