38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
