it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
