Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
