i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
