I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
