you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
