I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
