That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
