whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
