my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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