k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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