Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Couch. On fire.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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