I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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