Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
