He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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