i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize