Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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