i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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