Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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