He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
