Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
