Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
