absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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