I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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